The Challenges I Face

What are your biggest challenges?

Trying to live is the most accurate answer, yet the shortest, I can give. Of course, I’m not here to provide the quickest reply.

But the sentiment is true. Attempting to live, in the amount of pain I experience, is a challenge in itself.

When I was a kid, I thought living would be easier once I was an adult. Maybe I thought the pain would go away or that, as adults, we learn to deal with it. But, sadly, neither of those things became a reality, and the pain has only worsened.

Cooking a five-minute meal can put me in three to four hours of pain, only to have to repeat the ordeal to eat again…

Besides the physical challenges, I’m forever plagued with fatigue – both physical and mental – to the point that I often have to have a nap or three during the day.

My shortest day is around four hours, because I can and have slept for up to twenty hours a day just because I have no energy to do anything else.

You may wonder, how are you typing this?

Thankfully, speech-to-text exists, and tiny keyboards. Tiny, physical keyboards with soft-touch are the best since it doesn’t take as much energy to press the keys due to their over-responsive nature.

And then, there’s the depression or Espresso Depresso, you might say – unless you’re not depressed, then you’re probably wondering what’s wrong with me. And, at this point, if you don’t know what’s wrong with me – are you even reading this? [/j]

Honestly, the manic highs and the depressive lows are beyond unbearable. I can be depressed yet manic, crying for several hours in the pitch black of night, only to get a sudden happy energy boost and go to sleep…

Yes, I get an energy boost and then go to sleep.

I am the epitome of ADHDer’s issue with Caffeine – drink it and have a power nap.

While I may have specific challenges, I am challenged – in more than one way – and I can’t dwell on it, without crying. So, let’s get on with it!