RSD and the Messenger Graveyard

How do you communicate online? 

How do I communicate online? 

Poorly. Can that be my answer? Because genuinely… Poorly is the only answer I can pull out.

I want to point out that this typically only happens for personal things – I don’t really have this issue regarding professional conversations.

So, let me explain the cycle. 

Step 1: 

I’ll receive a message, typically with a statement or content, and I’ll look at it… For anything up to an hour.
I will then close the app I was using to look at said message and continue contemplating my response up until I get distracted and forget what I was thinking about.

Step 2:

I will find the message days or even weeks later, feel guilt and shame for not responding in a timely fashion.

Step 3: 

RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) kicks in and tells me that they hate me because I didn’t respond in a timely fashion. Therefore, I go into a depression and anxiety episode that usually leads me to do something I really shouldn’t. 

Step 4: 

Realise months later that you’ve still not responded…
And then repeat steps 2 and 3.

Do I want to be like this? Certainly not. But when you’ve been through experiences that reinforce your RSD… It usually sticks and is harder to budge.

It’s something I’m working on this year – trying to respond to everyone in a timely fashion. I can advise I’m entirely failing! But at least I’m trying(?) I suppose we’ll see!

So, this is a heads up – if you’re messaging me personally – and I don’t respond – please don’t take it personally. I’m just nervous, and I don’t want to upset you.