One Word that Describes Me – An Experiment

What is one word that describes you?

I decided to make this into a bit of an experiment.

I wrote a list of words that I feel describe me, and I allowed myself to be harsh, then asked my closest friends to describe me in a single word – without telling each other (to avoid influences).

The words I came up with are:

• Ignorant
• Fat
• Thick
• Creative
• Careless

There’s only one positive there – Creative. And it’s because it is the one thing I cannot deny. I can’t ignore the fact that I can create stuff, write, and design more than most people.

But what do the others mean about me? 

Well, I am Ignorant in life. I know others have struggles but I can’t always empathise with them, and it’s not that I don’t want to – I just can’t. If I could change it, I would. But this is one of the reasons I regularly talk to new people and try to educate myself.

Fat… I’ve not been considered thin since I was five. I was a big kid and no matter what I did, it never changed. The pain I experience now is a million times worse than what 5 year old me did but I suspect my weight gain ties in with when my health went to shit… Is being fat inherently bad? No. My health isn’t impacted by it, if anything my weight has saved me from a lot of falls over the past two decades.

Thick – as in unintelligent. I know I am intelligent, I’m regularly made aware of that and I regularly surprise myself with what information I can pull out of my arse, only to find it to be factually correct. But this is me, just because I know stuff doesn’t mean I’m intelligent in the world. I know a lot about a lot of things. I am not a master of anything and that causes me a lot of issues. My knowledge base has a lot of bald spots, just like my head. I could probably perform a minor surgery, but I have no idea how to close up. That’s just not something I’ve learnt, probably because it’s not as interesting.

Careless – Am I actually careless? No. I care too much, it’s one of my main issues. I never stop thinking about what’s going to happen and what has happened. So, why did I say Careless? Because I act on impulse. Anybody who knows me well, will know I act on impulse ninty-percent of the time. I am more than happy to confront someone with a knife. But, I won’t eat soup with any other kind of spoon than a soup spoon… My impulses are often what puts me in danger if it’s not my health. And, I’m not sure if I’d change that. 

Now, because I wanted to see if I could come up with anything anyone else would say, I asked a group of people who know me what word they’d use to describe me and I was surprised to say the least.

I was called:

• Sweet
• Caring
• Warm
• Creative
• Honourable

I’m happy I guessed one. But the others made me think.

Sweet, Caring, and Warm came from people who’ve known me for one to six months. They’re the people who’ve known me the least amount of time, but know me well.

Creative came from a person I regularly work with and has known me for four years. They’re someone who I deeply respect and admire. So, hearing them call me Creative is a compliment and a half.

And finally, the person who called me Honourable. Another person who I’ve worked with on numerous occasions and in different situations. We worked together in a corporate environment but we’ve also worked together on websites and blog projects. Out of the people who responded, he knows me the best and has known me the longest – he’s known me for six years. I’m not sure if there is a higher compliment to me than being called honourable. The idea that I am respected, somehow, and that I am moral is… Beyond me. I try my best to do what’s right at every turn. Do I do it? Not always because I don’t always know what is right until much later. But the concept that I have displayed myself in such a way to be considered honourable… I kind of shocked me. 

This exercise proved to me that I think of myself much differently than how others percieve me. And, let’s be honest, that is the case for everyone. However, to know that the people around me think of me in a nicer light than I could ever anticipate really helps, especially considering I’ve been very down recently. 

I hope I continue being seen that way. Because when the day comes that the majority see me how I see myself, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to take it any more.