It’s Pride month, and somehow, people still say that Biphobia isn’t a problem.
Honestly, it’s something that I’ve had to deal with on a few occasions as an Omnisexual person. When I tell someone I date people without gender preference, there are usually only three responses:
- “That’s cool. Anyway…”
- “Oh, nice. Any chance we can pull a friend in for some fun?”
- “Oh, right… Yeah, I’m not into that.”
The first response is the best scenario – you don’t get fetishized for your sexuality but don’t get discarded for it, either.
The second leans towards fetishization – women want to share their boyfriend with you, and men want to have two girls suck them off at once… It’s a mess; nine times out of ten, it never does anything good.
And finally, the final one.
The idea that someone needs to be “into” dating a bisexual to date a bisexual is strange to me. I’ve seen people suggest that they should be allowed to refuse to date bisexuals since they don’t want the person’s bisexuality to be “forced” onto them [specifically suggesting that by dating a person, you obtain their sexuality].
Now, let me explain how ignorant that is.
If a man dates a straight woman, it doesn’t make him gay because she’s attracted to men.
If a woman dates a straight man, it doesn’t make her gay because he’s attracted to women.
If a woman dates a bisexual man, it doesn’t make her bisexual because he is attracted to men and women.
If a woman dates a bisexual woman, it doesn’t make her bisexual because the bisexual woman is attracted to men and women.
Now, having a preference for dating people with the same sexuality is fine. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But it becomes Biphobia when you’re attracted to someone, find out that they’re Bisexual, and suddenly decide you’re no longer attracted to them – it’s your prejudice that’s changed your view.
Don’t get it yet? Let me reframe it for you:
If you’re attracted to someone, find out they’re Jewish, and suddenly decide you’re not attracted to them anymore… You’re prejudiced.
If you’re in the dating game, feeling someone, and suddenly decide you’re no longer attracted to them because they:
- are a different sexuality than you initially thought
- hold different religious views
- have a mental health or medical condition
Think about why, and ask yourself why your view changed – because if you lose interest in someone purely due to one aspect of who they are…
They didn’t change; you did.
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