Setting boundaries is incredibly important.
Boundaries are necessary, whether it’s in romantic, platonic, or familial relationships. It’s how we know what is appropriate and when someone is comfortable.
Sadly, some of us can’t set boundaries easily. If you said “No” as a child, followed by shouting, screaming, or physical abuse, you probably have the worst or no boundaries. Being told you’re selfish, rude, or just disobedient as a child for saying “No” leads to people pleasers.
While people pleasing isn’t the worst thing in the world, it is mentally unhealthy for the pleaser. Talking from experience, I have stopped an act of self-care to fulfil a task for someone else – just so I knew I wouldn’t get any form of abuse.
I’ve stopped cooking for myself to cook for someone else – simply because they asked me to do it, and I felt obligated to do so. Now, I’m learning boundaries, and I need some of you to know this:
If someone tells you that your boundaries are irrelevant, selfish, or disobedient – please remove them from your life.
If you’re trying to set boundaries but want to avoid being seen as the above… Don’t worry about it because anyone with an issue learning your boundaries doesn’t deserve to be around you.
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