It’s disheartening.
Waking up again
with a layer of hair on my pillow.
It shouldn’t be so important.
It’s just hair, after all.
But seeing it fall out,
litter my bed
and bury itself into my carpet –
a constant reminder
that I’m destined to be without.
Remembering the looks
that I got when it started.
From family and friends.
From neighbours and strangers.
The look of disgust.
Showing the raw scalp,
Once hidden by the thick tufts,
Now visible to the world.
Losing a piece of me,
a piece of my identity.
My desire to colour my hair
Obnoxiously bright colours
Withering away.
And while a wig is an option,
they hurt to wear.
Digging into my fragile skin,
damaging the remaining hair follicles.
Never lasting more than a few hours.
It’s disheartening.
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